I have to admit: I am a bad listener. I get bored easily. So - if you really want to annoy me make me sit still and listen to s.o./ sth. I'm not interested in or - even worse! make me wait for sth. to happen.
So, God hardly ever speaks to me when I'm just silently waiting for him to speak. I have to keep my body busy if I want to be able to focus at all; otherwise my thoughts just keep flipping around. So, I'm pretty much in love with the thought of hearing an audible voice, actually.
When I did a kind of bible course last week, I was chatting with one of the leaders and we spoke about a scripture. It was when I heard myself saying, "actually, that's what I've experienced over the last year" that I realized that God was speaking to me through my own words. At that very moment I got an answer to a question I had had for a while. It was interesting because that very day two people gave me a word (is there a way to say that without using Christian jargon??) that was related to the scripture I was talking about that morning.
Yes, sometimes I do need an audible voice. So God grants me my own or others to make Himself heard. I think God is cool :)
Sunday, October 21
Monday, October 8
Best Friends
Frankly, I don't like the term "best friend". I don't like the ranking, and I don't like the expectations tied to it. I do not want to rank my friends, and I don't want to be ranked. Honestly, I don't want to be called s.o.'s "best friend".
What does it mean to be s.o.'s best friend? That you can be told everything? That you can help in every situation and should do so? That you are the one person that has the right to know everything or most things or at least the most important things that are going on in your "best friend's" life?
No, I don't like that concept. Just because I don't think it works.
There are different people in my life I can talk to about different things. Different people I can share different things with. Different people that can help me in different situations. And I wouldn't even necessarily call all of them my friends; which, of course, might be a very German way of considering it.
As much as I'd like to be always helpful, I often fail to be a friend just because I am in the place I am in. Because there are things I can't understand so that I can't hear. Because I react in patterns that are not necessarily divine; because there are areas in my life in which I need healing.
So, I'm glad, there is s.o. who fulfills all the best friend's criteria. I'm glad I can have a best friend in Jesus. I'm glad I can entrust Jesus with my friends; not only when I can't be helpful any more but constantly.
I'm glad there is (already) a saviour. I'm glad there is room for me to be imperfect.
What does it mean to be s.o.'s best friend? That you can be told everything? That you can help in every situation and should do so? That you are the one person that has the right to know everything or most things or at least the most important things that are going on in your "best friend's" life?
No, I don't like that concept. Just because I don't think it works.
There are different people in my life I can talk to about different things. Different people I can share different things with. Different people that can help me in different situations. And I wouldn't even necessarily call all of them my friends; which, of course, might be a very German way of considering it.
As much as I'd like to be always helpful, I often fail to be a friend just because I am in the place I am in. Because there are things I can't understand so that I can't hear. Because I react in patterns that are not necessarily divine; because there are areas in my life in which I need healing.
So, I'm glad, there is s.o. who fulfills all the best friend's criteria. I'm glad I can have a best friend in Jesus. I'm glad I can entrust Jesus with my friends; not only when I can't be helpful any more but constantly.
I'm glad there is (already) a saviour. I'm glad there is room for me to be imperfect.
Sunday, October 7
What I learned
I might slowly be overcoming my typing trauma, so I think I could be able to answer the question I've been often asked after my trips to Paris and Marlow: "So, what did you learn there?"
I find this question quite hard to answer because the answer is not so tangible. I've learned so many different things in different areas; and it was not so much that I got incredible revelations...
The one thing that I remember well is how much I was amazed about the cultural differences. Not so much in Paris, of course, because it was all very international, but very much in England. How different the English and the Germans are even though they look similar and live so close. That culture is sooooo indirect; mine isn't at all. That has never been so clear to me before.
So, I guess one thing I learned is to have more empathy with people living in cultures that are not their own. I keep forgetting, though, but I definitely want to remember! Being nice to foreigners is not exactly a German virtue...
I learned to trust God's speaking more. This little voice, of which I'm sometimes not even sure if I heard correctly. It impressed me that scriptures etc. we had gotten in prayer preparing for France made total sense when we actually were in Paris. Something we hadn't seen before at all.
I learned how much I still want to make things happen in my own strength; and how much better and easier and joyful it is to do it God's way; and let Him do what is His job.
I learned to trust God more financially! He provided for the trips.
Maybe the most important thing is that I got a greater hunger to get His word out there. Although I still don't really know how to do it. And that I lost some of my fears.
This is a very incomplete list; but it may give you an impression. :)
I find this question quite hard to answer because the answer is not so tangible. I've learned so many different things in different areas; and it was not so much that I got incredible revelations...
The one thing that I remember well is how much I was amazed about the cultural differences. Not so much in Paris, of course, because it was all very international, but very much in England. How different the English and the Germans are even though they look similar and live so close. That culture is sooooo indirect; mine isn't at all. That has never been so clear to me before.
So, I guess one thing I learned is to have more empathy with people living in cultures that are not their own. I keep forgetting, though, but I definitely want to remember! Being nice to foreigners is not exactly a German virtue...
I learned to trust God's speaking more. This little voice, of which I'm sometimes not even sure if I heard correctly. It impressed me that scriptures etc. we had gotten in prayer preparing for France made total sense when we actually were in Paris. Something we hadn't seen before at all.
I learned how much I still want to make things happen in my own strength; and how much better and easier and joyful it is to do it God's way; and let Him do what is His job.
I learned to trust God more financially! He provided for the trips.
Maybe the most important thing is that I got a greater hunger to get His word out there. Although I still don't really know how to do it. And that I lost some of my fears.
This is a very incomplete list; but it may give you an impression. :)
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