Just Trust

... is the slogan on my front door.

Right now it's necessary for me to be constantly reminded that God is trustworthy. I'm - frankly speaking - nervous about finding a flat within about three weeks. Actually, not about finding ONE flat; more about finding THE ONE flat that each one of us who we will share it likes.
Well, I think God promised to provide one. My time is in His hands. He's never been too late.

Just Trust.

Hey, you reading this: Would you mind praying that everything will work out?
THANKS!

Schülerlob

Als meine neunte Klasse am Freitag erfuhr, dass ich auch Latein unterrichte, meinte sie erstaunt: "SIE sind Latein-Lehrerin?!? Das sieht man Ihnen aber gar nicht an! Sie sehen so normal aus."

Ob mich das wohl bereits für die Kategorie "angehende Latein-Lehrer, die trotzdem cool und sexy sind" qualifiziert?Man weeß et net...

Know-All

Once again I'm amazed about God. I'm amazed that he just knows what He is doing. He's a know-all in the best sense of the word (:

Just the other day a friend was teaching about what it means to follow Jesus. "When you follow you don't take the lead," she said. Sounds logical, doesn't it?
I'm just really excited at the moment about what it means to follow STEP by STEP by STEP... Doing that means to say yes to God's way for you, notwithstanding the fact that you might not see where it is going, that you might perhaps not want to go where it is going or - especially difficult for someone like me who loves planning and achieving goals as quickly as possible - it means just to go God's way even if you might have discovered a seeming short cut.
And if you follow God that closely it all comes together to a perfect plan!

Over the last eight years I've found myself in places and especially jobs I didn't want to be in. I think the prayer I've said most often in this last decade was, "God, I don't want to do that! Can't I leave?!?" But He said no, and I just kept following.
Currently, I'm working as a student teacher. The last (two years) step before I'm a "real" teacher. The job I've always thought God wanted me to do. And I've realised lately that I really don't like it! I don't like most things that are attached to that job. How can that be if you follow? What went wrong??

Nothing!
It's just another step I have to take. God reminded me that he had told me right away, at the beginning of my studies that I will - if ever - not work as a teacher for a long time (thank you!!). I had forgotten about that. He corrected my view on my way giving new revelations about my calling. And He showed me what so many other steps I had already taken have been good for. What He had actually taught me through them, spiritually, characterwise and practically. I would never have reached the place I am now at - spiritually, characterwise and practically - if I hadn't trusted Him completely; that He just knows it all, and that all the things will work together for the good. They actually have. I'm so blessed where I am! God has given me so much! More than I had asked for.

I'm so grateful that he actually answers our prayers. I'm so grateful that He does not only know our yearnings but that He actually gave them to us and is interested in fulfilling them. In HIS timing. Which is the right one. My time is in His hands.

Thank you God that you don't stop leading me. That my complaining does not deter you from loving me. That you always reach out your hands to hold me and guide me! Keep my heart teachable, I pray.

Search me, o God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me the way everlasting.
Psalm 139,23f.

Life is short - pray hard!

Dieses Motto wurde mir kürzlich von einer lieben Freundin nahe gelegt. Und ich finde, es ist so unglaublich wahr. Und um die Kurve zu meinem vorherigen Post zu bekommen, erzähle ich hier kurz eine kleine Geschichte:

Es war einmal eine Chestin, die hatte durch die Lektüre eines gewissen Buches gelernt, dass wir nicht haben, weil wir nicht bitten. Und da hatte sie sich schon vor einigen Jahren (denn sie ist ja schon weise und lebenserfahren) angewöhnt, sich zum Jahreswechsel nicht unbedingt nur gute Vorsätze zu fassen, sondern vor allem aufzuschreiben, was sie von Gott sehen oder haben möchte (so ganz kinderartig papa-ich-will-mäßig). So schrieb sie in ihren gebundenen Papier-Blog (den Älteren unter uns wahrscheinlich noch als Tagebuch bekannt), dass sie dieses Jahr unbedingt wieder nach England fahren möchte, denn da war sie ja bereits zwei Jahre nicht, und es ist doch so schön da, und die Menschen sprechen doch so eine schöne Sprache und sind so höflich, und das Wetter ist so angenehm mild, und -
ich will mich hier nicht in Details verlieren, sondern lieber mit meiner Geschichte fortfahren.

Als die kleine Chestin also zwei Tage später am viel zu frühen Morgen in ihrem Englisch-Seminar saß, um sich weiterzubilden und zu erfahren, was sie weder weiß noch kann (und eventuell auch nie können wird oder definitiv nicht wissen wollte), drang plötzlich die von Seiten der Seminarleiterin ganz offiziell gestellte Frage an ihr Ohr, ob wir denn nicht als Gruppe ein Shakespeare-Projekt in Form einer Reise auf die Insel, auf der es angeblich so viel regnet, machen wollen.

Klar wollen wir!

Da war die kleine Chestin glücklich

What is church?

For some time now I've tried to figure out how I could describe here in a snappy way what God is doing in my life. But you know what? It would take forever to write that down. And it would need further explanation anyway.
But yesterday, when I was sharing that with friends and family, it was no problem at all to express my heart. We were all talking about what God is currently doing and what we expect Him to do; and I think just by sharing all that we all were encouraged. Because God was glorified.

I, frankly speaking, do not believe in the current church concept. Meeting once a week, most people being passive and some in charge. I think church is relation-based. Sunday morning might be a part of it. But it's definitely not everything.
I know these are not exactly revolutionary thoughts. But I think that one reason why the church is so weak is that we don't really live fellowship. We don't support and encourage each other, promoting the other in his talents. Plus, we don't allow God to use us and our very individual talents in our (also very individual) every day lives. We rather want Him to fit in our (life) concepts instead of following step by step.

There's just so much more. Are we willing to leave our comfort zone?


Ich weiß, ich habe einen Mixmasch angekündigt. Also mixe und masche ich jetzt hier. Wenn auch nur in Form einer Übertragung...

Was ist Kirche?
Eine ganze Weile versuche ich jetzt bereits herauszufinden, wie ich hier kurz und prägnant beschreiben könnte, was Gott gerade in meinem Leben tut. Aber es würde ewig dauern, das aufzuschreiben; und es wäre sowieso nicht selbsterklärend.
Gestern allerdings, als ich mit Freunden und Familie genau darüber gesprochen habe, was es überhaupt kein Problem auszudrücken, was ich meine. Wir haben darüber gesprochen, was Gott in unserem Leben momentan tut, und was wir von Ihm erwarten. Ich denke, dass wir einfach dadurch, dass wir uns ausgetauscht haben, alle ermutigt worden sind. Einfach weil Gott die Ehre gegeben wurde.

Offengestanden glaube ich nicht an das aktuelle Kirchenkonzept. Sich einmal die Woche zu treffen, wobei die meisten Leute passiv sind und einige die Verantwortung für alles haben. Ich denke, Kirche basiert auf Beziehungen. Sonntag Morgen mag ein Teil davon sein; aber es ist definitiv nicht alles.
Ich weiß, dass das keine revolutionären Gedanken sind. Aber ich denke auch, dass die Kirche unter anderem deshalb so schwach ist, weil wir Gemeinschaft nicht leben. Wir unterstützen und ermutigen uns nicht; fördern uns nicht in unseren individuellen Gaben. Und wir erlauben Gott nicht, uns und unsere sehr individuellen Talente in unserem (ebenfalls sehr individuellen) Alltag zu gebrauchen. Wir wollen lieber, dass Er sich unseren (Lebens-)Konzepten anpasst anstatt wirklich Schritt für Schritt nachzufolgen.

Es gibt so viel mehr. Sind wir bereit, unsere Bahaglichkeit aufzugeben?

It's weekend, baby!

Wow.
It's taken me FOREVER to set up this blog, but finally...

It's weekend, baby! Oh bliss with measure rain thy joy for fear I surfeit...
I lately realized how great it is to think about what is making me happy. Right now. At this very moment. I'm happy because it's weekend, because I have internet at home (looooooove it!), because I did not only tidy up my desk and transform it into a real workplace but that I actually have managed to keep it usable and that I really use it. I'm happy because I have a great family. Sooo good looking:



I'm happy because I have precious friends, because I can sleep in tomorrow (and did actually sleep well tonight), because I have enough time to just hang out here and publish totally random things. And I'm happy because my English class is fighting for getting me as their Latin teacher as well. That is especially making me happy because it seems that my Latin class would rather like to fight for not having me as their teacher at all... So what is finally making me really happy is that I don't have to see a school from the inside for two more days.

See, I'm all happy now.

So. Already thought about what is making YOU happy? Right now? At this very moment?

Getting started
(Tue, 19th Dec 2006; actually...)

Why not just start? Do I really have anything to say? Actually not. But who cares?
When I'll have made it to bed it's only three more days, and then I'll have 17 days OFF! No school, no seminars. Lot of ordering & preparing, of course but not having to get out should do for the beginning

I think it's amazing how grateful one can become for the little things such as sleep, leisure time or just being emotionally stable; how precious things as watching a dvd with a friend or having enough time to enjoy a cup of coffee in the morning (verrrrry important!) become when you have to really make room for them. There are so many things we just take for granted as long as we don't have to fight for them. I wish it would be possible to know about the value of things and people BEFORE we lose them.

Of course, I have an idea of what people and things mean to me; but not until I lose s.o.' favour I had taken for granted or am bereft of things I appreciate I really KNOW how important they actually are for me. In so far I'm grateful for the time I'm just experiencing; when a phone call with a friend becomes really precious just because it's not normal any more to have enough time to chat. And I can so clearly see who and what is important for me because whenever I take time to e.g. hang out with s.o. that time is more or less directly taken away from my daily hours of sleep. So I choose well...

I think that is why God sometimes withdraws his presence from us. What had been taken for granted - security in Him, His love, ... - all of a sudden is shifted from being normal to being something of undescribable value.
When I lately experienced that in an extreme way, feeling horrible and not having Him as my refuge I learned how precious my bible - that contains all the truth about His might and glory - actually is. I couldn't rely on my feelings; I couldn't feel His presence AT ALL; there was nobody who could help me in that situation. So all could do was sticking to the psalms and proclaiming them. They ministered in an incredible way to me! Only then I understood why owning a bible is so valuable; and then I could understand why it means so much to have one for people who live in countries where bibles cannot be purchased easily. I'm grateful for the deep times. They are not fun, but they reveal what really counts. And I think when you process them well they'll make the ground you stand on more solid. On the other hand, choosing the easiest way all the time, avoiding any unpleasantness and denying failures and pain can easily result in the opposite: a shifting ground.

I think I'll rather choose the harder way.